Stately,

Plump buck mulligan came from the stairs,
Bearing a bowl of lather ;
A mirror and a razor lay crossed .
A yellow dressinggown, halfdoffed
Gently behind him :   the mild morning air .
The bowl aloft, he intoned :
— Introibo ad altare dei .
Coarsely he called up | down the dark winding stones :
— Come up, kinch !   You fearful jesuit, come pray .

Solemnly forward, mounting the gunrest round,
He blessed gravely thrice :
The tower, surrounding country, awaking mounts .
Catching sight of stephen dedalus ;
Bent, he made rapid crosses in the air,
Gurgling his throat, shaking his reason .
Dedalus, displeased and sleepy, leaned
Arms on the top of the staircase, looked
Coldly ;  the shaking gurgling face, blessing—
Equine length, untonsured hair :
Pale oak .

Mulligan peeped under the mirror, a stroke ;
Covered the bowl smartly .
— Back to barracks !   Sternly .
[ Priestly ] :
— For this, o dearly beloved ;  the genuine
Christine :   body and soul and blood and ouns .
Slow music, please. Shut your eyes, gents .
One moment .
A little trouble about those corpuscles ashen .

Silence, all .

* [ Paraphrased from :  “ Ulysses ” —James Joyce ]

*[ WSB ]_.

THE PERPETRATOR MOVES through the lunch line, dining only a secondary concern .   When the fiend nears the condiments and silverware : the true objective occurs surreptitiously, hardly noticeable :   whole handfuls of napkins are scooped from the stainless steel holders ;  nestled in waistband under the tent-like shirt .

  Just before the next-period bell, the thief runs unseen to the top of the sophomore hall staircase, where he doesn’t belong, breathing heavily, adrenaline spiking .

  The mob of noisy adolescents echo in the stairwell, hundreds of napkins snow down onto the perplexed students .   W . T . F . ! ? !

  The Napkin Beast strikes again !