MOTHER FELL AND BROKE HER HIP . I asked my lying sister–in–law how it happened .

— [bitchy] She fell because of those slippery socks you gave her .

— [skeptical] Hmm .

Later, again on the phone :

— Mother, did you fall because of those socks I gave you ?

— No . I tripped over that stupid dog .

The dog in question : little, white bulldog .

A couple of weeks later, I visit my recuperating mother . Everyone is in the living room when Mother warily creeps around the edge of the room .

— Mother . What are you doing ?

— That dog is trying to kill me !