THE PERPETRATOR MOVES through the lunch line, dining only a secondary concern .   When the fiend nears the condiments and silverware : the true objective occurs surreptitiously, hardly noticeable :   whole handfuls of napkins are scooped from the stainless steel holders ;  nestled in waistband under the tent-like shirt .

  Just before the next-period bell, the thief runs unseen to the top of the sophomore hall staircase, where he doesn’t belong, breathing heavily, adrenaline spiking .

  The mob of noisy adolescents echo in the stairwell, hundreds of napkins snow down onto the perplexed students .   W . T . F . ! ? !

  The Napkin Beast strikes again !